Matt Apodaca (of "How Did this Get Played?" and "Yo, Is This Racist?" podcast fame) joins the holobois to find out what Star Trek is REALLY about: chilling in forests with dudes in latex costumes! Neelix (henceforth referred to as "Neevil") avoids telling child crewmember Naomi Wildman that her mom's in trouble, but she figures it all out anyway and copes by hanging out with her photonic friends on... THE HOLODECK!

Matt also portrays "Ezra Gammon," holonovel creator and crunch-time advocate, in the Starfleet Archives.

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

Dylan's still gone (this is getting spooky!) so it's up to Darius and Jan to take us on a trip to Pyris VII, where a couple of middle-aged cuttlefish aliens trying to spice up their marriage set up a haunted house for Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty and Sulu on what should have been... THE HOLODECK!

Catspaw-inspired track "powerfulsensations" by FÜÜÜT available on Bandcamp

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

This week we have Guest Marc Cooper on to school us on queer coding, Dylan is out of town for undisclosed reasons, and we are all jealous of Quarks sleep wear!

Guest: Marc Cooper

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

This week the holobois have gotten into free-range, all organic intros, have to hold a historic vote on what they think is holo-content, and discuss if Star Trek is TOO horny! All while they go on their way to... THE HOLODECK!

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

It's a two-hander as the understaffed holobois Dylan and Jan take a look at the second season premiere of Lower Decks! And, just like last week's "Where Silence Has Lease," it starts off with a workout scene on... THE HOLODECK!

In this episode we ask:

• how much does Darius do every week? (a lot)

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

The Enterprise encounters a space anomaly that's totally spooky and weird, so of course they fly right into it. But that's nowhere near as tense as Picard is when he's waiting to hear from Riker and Worf as they work out in an also-spooky Klingon battle simulation on... THE HOLODECK!

In this episode we ask:

• how does Ensign Haskell feel about going through Starfleet Academy, working hard and getting to helm the Enterprise only for non-cadet Fake Ensign Crusher to take his spot?
• what does everybody do during the 20 minute self destruct sequence?
• how are Jonathan Frakes's eyes so blue?

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

Chakotay continues his streak of "helping" crew members by making them face their traumas in the most unhealthy ways. In this case, Neelix dies in a horrible accident trying to fill a thermos full of protomatter. So Chakotay makes Neelix relive the whole thing on... THE HOLODECK!

In this episode we ask:

• seriously though what is Chakotay's deal?
• does anybody really mind that Neelix is dead?
• why doesn't Voyager keep a full stock of Seven of Nine nanoprobes for bringing people back to life?

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

Kirk wrestles with the possibility that an actor performing Space Shakespeare might be a man he recognizes as "Kodos the Executioner." People who could also corroborate the actor's identity keep mysteriously being murdered. In the end, the play's the thing in which Kirk will catch the king in (what on TNG would be)... THE HOLODECK!

In this episode we ask:

• what would it be like going to a play and the lead is played by Hitler?
• does Kirk have an ensign set up his dates on the Enterprise?
• why is Spock so suspicious of Kirk when Kirk's into a lady?

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue and Emmy Ross

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

A Romulan defects to the Federation to prevent an interstellar war, but can he be trusted? Meanwhile, Picard continues (begins?) his acting classes with Data and Data shows the Romulan his homeworld on... THE HOLODECK!

In this episode we ask:

• how does the Enterprise have schematics of Romulus's surface?
• do starfleet conspiracy theorists talk about Section 31 and the Mirror Universe?
• does Patrick Stewart talk with a cool, hip lingo?
• and more!

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp

Wait, are the Maquis finally going to take over the USS Voyager? It sure seems like it. Wow, that's some bold storytelling! Oh. Wait. Nevermind, it's all made up as Tuvok and Tom Paris have to find a way to safely navigate writer's block in a simulation-gone-haywire on... THE HOLODECK!

Hosted by Darius Hamilton-Smith, Dylan Hamilton-Smith and Jan Lefrancois-Gijzen

Computer Voice provided by Verona Blue

Music by "b o d y l i n e" available on Bandcamp